Dear Husband is asleep on the sofa. It is late and he was out last night and many drinks later got in early this morning. There was a rumour of some sex this evening but that isn't going to be happening. I have just been on the phone with my best friend (the one with the pregnant brain who forgot my birthday- I love this woman) We got to talking about our men and hers is a slightly old fashioned Teutonic lawyer, whereas mine has all the appearance of a new man. On the surface very different animals but scratch the surface and they are very similar. Neither takes as much responsibility as we do.
It makes me so sad that mine doesn't really share responsibility for trying to get pregnant and it worries me that this will be the same once we have a child. He doesn't ask if I am late with my period. Occasionally it occurs to him but he doesn't ask even when it does. He doesn't buy the vitamins, he only makes appointments if I tell him to and he bluntly isn't given a choice. He did actually even come to some until I was so upset by my gynaecologist he had to. He doesn't think about how to improve our sex life. He doesn't think about what he eats. He especially doesn't think about what he drinks, even if that might knacker his sperm for a couple of cycles. He doesn't initiate conversations about how we are doing. He sometimes has sex and he probably thinks he puts up with me going on about this a lot. In my worst moments I wonder if I want him to be a dad. Maybe I should actually stop trying rather than just talking about it.